February 14th, 2017

Like an obedient dog confidence comes when you call.

I wrote the line ‘confidence is gained by giving’ in the Turn Lights On book in 2013 and it has fascinated me ever since. Most people think confidence is something to be found and hope to have more of it, but actually we already have it inside of us.

Let’s look at ‘lack of confidence’, when there is a lack there is a sense of something missing that we need. Confidence has been inside me all my life however at times I have blocked it by putting myself down, stopped it growing by putting achievements down to luck and not talent, not accepted it by not seeing my good points just my faults, doubted it by thinking it’s no big deal and avoided listening to myself, not valuing myself and my needs.

I’d like to share with you a few tips, tricks and lessons that I have learnt to enable me to be more confident. I constantly practice these to maintain my confidence as my beautiful fear hungry brain can turn at any time! Notice I use the word BE, we don’t strive to it, we don’t do confidence we are it! We meet an experience and step into the light and be confident. Like an obedient dog, confidence comes when you call. When the dog was a puppy he didn’t sit, or stay, high five or roll over, he was taught through repetition and constant reminders of who’s the boss and his place in the pack.

I’m no dog expert however I know doggies need plenty of

LOVE
FOOD
DISCIPLINE

How can we be more dog?

Applying Love.

Self love, appreciation for yourself will result in you standing your ground and saying and doing what you believe in. Be kind to yourself, fill yourself up with lovely thoughts and regular rewards, and celebrate your successes and potential. Then you are in a position to give and that’s when your confidence soars. Giving to others helps us let go of our needs and connect with others with is so powerful. When I’ve been feeling under confident it can turn into all about ‘me, me me me’ – BORING! Giving can help me get out of my own way and help others, double whammy!

Food

Learning, growing, understanding and looking in the mirror. Self awareness of who you really are. Facing up to some harsh realities about yourself but accepting them to become you.

Discipline

The boring stuff. Repetition is the mother of skill, this is why we have the 21 moments programme. I created something that you do everyday to build up these habit. If I think of the successful people I know their life is filled with positive habits. Doing small things every day, bit by bit. Whether this is yoga, running or having a gratitude list it all supports you to keep positive habits resulting in positive experiences.

Confidence is gained by giving

Confidence is gained by giving to yourself and others but it really starts from you. Don’t expect that obedient dog to come to the rescue when you have’t given him food or love and this is the same for your confidence.

I have thought many times I wish I could bottle confidence and drink it when I need it, on occasions I have thought confidence came in the shape of a large Gin and Tonic but really there is no instant solution, it is a practice and it is something which can leave you if you don’t keep up the good work. I noticed this last year when things were tough for me. It is easy to slip and then you start to see the fruits of your labour not being plentiful and beautiful.

So I will leave you with some thoughts and questions I would love for you to think about for a day and introduce. I would also love your comments on these